12 types of Obnoxious Foodies

 

Indians have always had an appetite for food. But, over the last decade the country’s obsession with food has snowballed into another level – resulting in ofcourse, an explosion of (self proclaimed) food critics. Not all these foodies are created equal and I have taken the liberty to rank them here by their levels of obnoxiousness. Don’t forget to comment and tell me which one you are 🙂

1. The Basic

As the name suggests, these foodies are basic AF. The unpretentious lot. They can eat their avocado toast and a their favourite iced latte all day, any day!
While they do love food, they usually stick to their basic favourites – no matter where they go!

Obnoxious score : 3/10

2. The Sourcing Stickler

I personally hate these pricks. Being informed about where your food is sourced from and all is great, BUT not when it’s 9 am and the sourcing stickler is harrowing the barista to know which region of Guatemala that morning’s cold brew comes from; or whether the sourdough bread their sandwich is made of was made fresh.
Know one? Run away.

Obnoxious score : 7/10

3. The Conceited Home-Chef

Now, don’t get me wrong – I’m all for homegrown Chefs. But dining out with them?Not so much. Conceited home-chefs can be a real pain to deal with. Every detail of their meal is an opportunity for them to beguile you with stories of their dexterity in the kitchen (as if their Facebook and Instagram feeds weren’t enough already). Just don’t go out with them or be prepared for a monologue.

Obnoxious score : 8/10

4. The Trend Pawn
We ALL know this one. Swears that Matcha Turmeric and Jackfruit Poke Bowl tastes phenomenal, but you’re pretty sure The Trend Pawn is just showing off as efficiently as possible.

Obnoxious score : 4/10

@foodtalkindia launched PA PA Ya in delhi! #GoPaPaYa

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5. The Customizer

Normal people go to a restaurant and order what’s on the menu – but these self proclaimed mavens make bizarrely specific requests like asking for the Pomodoro sauce in the Cheese and Spinach Ravioli. There’s a reason the Chef chose to serve it in a Butter Basil Sauce! If the server objects or refuses – they develop an allergy in seconds (one that doesn’t exist). Needless to say, they give an allergy to those around them

Obnoxious score : 5/10

A big day for the Indian Economy. Celebrating tonight….

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6. The Guilt-Tripping Vegan

I’m a firm believer of to each his own, but seriously. It’s one thing to go vegan, and totally another to show everyone videos documenting the horrors of slaughter houses, while you’re having another one of your oh-so-vegan meals.
Unless you have the most amazing personality, being vegan will not score points socially. I just have one suggestion for you – stop the preaching and eat your salad.

Obnoxious score : 6/10

7. The Show Off / Over – pronouncer
This one adopts an accent for every different cuisine-specific restaurant you visit – overpronouncing (read mispronouncing) every item on the menu. They take pride in their knowledge and are often upset when told they’re wrong.

Obnoxious score : 8/10

8. The Instagrammer
The Instagrammers go into a state of hysteria when they see a beautifully plated meal. Top angle – wide – boomerangs and all that you can think of and name. And by the time each dish is carefully photographed and each hashtag is hashtagged, the food is cold. Poor chef who whipped up that plate of goodness would stand and wonder WHY did the doorman let this irreverent soul in! (Yes, guity as charged)

Obnoxious score : 5/10

9. The Account Keeper
This one is often found checking off the city’s most expensive tasting menus and buffets. Rarely recall food techniques or have a hard time explaining their favourite dish.
On group visits, they will charitably take over the responsibility of clearing the cheque – and will make sure at least two other members of the group know how much he dropped!

Obnoxious score : 6/10

10. The Publicist
You walk into a restaurant with this maven and they can’t stop talking about how they know the chef or the owner. Things take an interesting turn when The Publicist tells the owner about knowing the owner. Delhi is infested with The Publicists.

Obnoxious score : 7/10

11. The Breadless Wonder
Not celiac or anything, but experienced a huge life change after going gluten-free. Somehow continues to express that exchanging grilled cheeses and chicken fingers for salads has led to increased energy, positivity and weight loss. Two words : GO HOME.

Obnoxious score : 7/10

12. The Competitive Eater
No, not like the I’ll-kill-you-if-we-take-a-food-challenge kind, he Competitive Eater is that person who can’t let someone else talk about a trip they’ve taken, a dish they’ve cooked, or a restaurant they’ve tried without immediately pointing to something they’ve experienced that is undoubtedly superior. Gets weirdly upset when the table concludes someone else’s entree was better than theirs.

Obnoxious score : 8/10

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